Prompt for today “Write about the last time you left your comfort zone?”
This is becoming interesting. I would never would have attempted to do a blog on this topic. It took me some time and some arguing with my husband to come up with this piece.
When we talk about comfort zones, it can be physical or mental zones or both. My son is severely autistic. He is 24 years old and needs one on one attention. But living with him has become a way of life. We have created a comfort zone around him. In fact, he needs so much physical comfort that it is to our advantage too. When we travel, we choose the best hotels to stay and the best restaurants to eat. He is on a schedule so our life has really become so perfect in one too many ways.
As I look back, there has not been many situations we need to be without him. This is true especially when we travel in India. So what do you think is a place a girl feels so much out of place? It is of course her in laws house. The same is true for me. But over the years, traveling with my son my concentration was always with him that I did not even bother to notice what was around me and I had ignored so much trying to take care of my son.
Ten years ago, my father in law passed away and my husband went to India alone to do his father’s last rites. A few days after my husband reached , I told my husband that I would travel to India alone with the kids and join him for the final rites . He would be performing which lasts for four days according to our custom. My husband arranged a separate accommodation for my son in his cousin’s house and made all the comfort arrangement. My parents decided to help me out for the four days taking care of my son.
So is this supposed to be an easy situation for me? I am in my in laws place alone with no responsibility to take care of my son. No, It was not. I started noticing things around my in laws place. I had conversation with my husband’s family. I did not have my son to cling on to in this uneasy situation (escaping from gossips surrounding me). I felt I was not part of the family. Something felt alienated. I WAS COMPLEETELY OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE! It can also be that my father in law had passed away (my mother in law died even before my marriage) and that I did not have that extra support. I felt I was being judged or may be commented upon the whole time. In fact, after nearly 15 years of marriage I felt as if I was a new bride in a new home. Even to this day my husband comments on I how read a newspaper when everyone in the house were doing a job and I did not do any! Anyone seeing me with my son will never call me lazy but that day: Yes, I did not work but read a newspaper.
I think this was a situation I was mentally out of my control zone . I had all the physical comfort of my disabled child being taken care off by my parents which would have been a huge burden of my shoulders. But I was uncomfortable through out the period of my stay.
Anyway it is our mind that creates our comfort zone most of the time. My son at this point is having a meltdown since his brother ate his cookie(maybe?) and the weather suddenly became cold. It is freezing outside and I have slightly developed a headache, but t I am in my comfort of my study room able to write down a blog!
The pre pandemic life was a comfort zone that many mention today. But it is not as if people stopped living. They have started saying we need to start living with the virus. We wear a mask or wash our hands , have a vaccine or ignore it completely but life goes on.
The lesson I have learnt create comfort zone as we go! Life will be good!