As I prepare my younger kid to college I remember a deep conversation we had with our Guru many years back. He suggested my son can be placed in a special needs home. My son was soon going to be 18 at that time and it really shocked our family. I asked him was it not my duty to take care of him and he said “No, your duty is done”. My Guru doesn’t speak much so this really did provoke so many thoughts. But this was the same time we were preparing our son to transition into adulthood and we had this message so my son’s social worker from school suggested everything we can do so he may get the required state funding to be placed in a group home. But she said it would take many years for it get that approved.
Fast forward today, my son still lives with us but we as a family are prepared if the need arises to place him in a group home. We have the necessary funding and system in place in case of an emergency. My Guru’s words became true I started getting paid for the work I did with my son since we had a hard time finding an aide. Yes my duty as a Mom stopped once I started getting a paycheck!
This means I document nearly 25 hours of a week of the work I do with him. I get paid and I work with him at home and in the community. How did this help me? Since I am documenting the work, I feel satisfied that I achieved something and it did leave me up with lot of non guilt free time. The hours I put in with my son is productive and he too gets his Me time. Touchwood I have an aide who takes him out for the rest of his habitat hours and things are looking good.
Yes my son has not left the house but he is not being smothered by me. Over the next few years I am hoping I would completely let him go and that I can take care of myself and my husband alone.
Okay about my younger one. We have promised him that his room would be intact until he buys his own home😊😊. Okay, We have been teasing him about moving his stuff to the basement and that is when we came to this agreement. The truth is I am too lazy to even enter into his closet. It will be eternity before I clean his space.
Unlike birds, our kids come back and that is the fun and good part. We have the ability to let go and at the same time do it in a way comfortable for us. Me and my husband have worked hard many years for our kids and we do know we need that time to ourselves and it is really important. Life is short and every stage is interesting.😊
We are not empty nesters yet but I am psychologically preparing myself for it!😀
Picture of a kite taken by my brother in India few days back. Looked really good I had to incorporate in my blog. Thanks Shankar for allowing me to share for a topic and it fit good.
Prostrations to my Guru Sri Sri Sri Ganapathy Sachidananda Swamiji.🙏
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