The dictionary meaning of brave as found online:
- ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage.”a brave soldier
- endure or face (unpleasant conditions or behavior) without showing fear.”we had to brave the full heat of the sun”
When I did Bloganuary last year, I remember some of the prompts and I felt they were too personal. So this is one prompt that is going to make me rip my bandage off. I do a personal blog and I do feel I have to share this.
I was in my mid twenties when I knew my kid was not normal. So even before the diagnosis was official, I remember spending many nights crying about what the future was going to be. Looking back, I would say I was really brave to undergone the multiple doctor visits, and the final diagnosis. Okay, Dunkin Donuts coffee helped through that process I would have to say. I never drank coffee much before that but I became a coffee addict in the process. (Just an extra cup a day).
So getting an autism diagnosis looked like an easy thing when compared to my son’s teenage years. That is when he was diagnosed with PANDAS. He was suspended from the public school system. He developed serious behavior issues and was harming others and self. He stayed at home for six months when we were trying to figure out a private school that can help him and a proper medication that can control his behaviors. That time I had a little one who was in kindergarden and my husband was changing jobs. We had teachers and therapists coming home and teaching him while I handled packing my stuff to move out of the city and had to put our house on sale. This was in my mid thirties and we eventually smooth sailed out of it. I would say I was brave enough to handle that situation. Okay, this was the age I truly was lost and found God and Guru. My faith helped me and I bravely handled the situation.
So what happened in my mid forties? This was five years ago when we were told his regular day program had put him on a waitlist and that after his 21 years of being in school, he has to be at home. Okay, compared to the last two situations this was one easy. My son’s case worked found me a job in a non traditional day program and I have been using their services for my son and also finding that I love the job I do. I could have cried my way out and gone nuts. But I did not. I was brave and I found all the alternate options available. I have been so actively involved with my son around the community and now we are well known. The pizza shop owner at the mall, the lifeguards at the pool, the front desk clerk at the rec center are few of the people we have become friends with. When I hear a voice, ” Hi Ani” , being called out in Walmart or at a park, I really feel thrilled.
Now it is up to you my readers to let me know if I am still brave? I think I am. Oh by the way today morning I cleaned up my younger teenager’s room, sorted his laundry and I did great. I think I deserve a bravery award for that too. After a ten day of Christmas break that was a room looked like it was hit by a tornado.