Special Mom’s blog

Last weekend, most of North America saw the Northern Lights. But I did not see it. I loved how a blogger wrote about it and called it FOMO (fear of missing out). To learn more about it, check it out here. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8283615/#:~:text=Abstract,to%20maintain%20these%20social%20connections. Fear of missing out (FoMO) is a unique term introduced in 2004 to describe a phenomenon observed on social networking sites. FoMO includes two processes: first, the perception of missing out, followed by compulsive behavior to maintain these social connections.

The entire week, my thoughts were on the term FOMO. Yes, I also felt FOMO for the Northern Lights, but I just thought about what other things I have the same feeling about. I even messaged a friend and asked her when she posted on her social media. 

I have missed a lot of things in my life. I have missed my cousins marriages, and I really feel bad when I think I was not there when my grandparents died. I was very close to both my maternal and paternal grandparents. But I have accepted that, with my son’s diagnosis, I cannot make that trip, which I have ignored.

Anything that happens in our proximity and we are able to do or attend is when this FOMO happens. Most of them are silly and do not add much value. Yet, our brain keeps saying you missed out on a wonderful event. 

I remember a time when my younger son was three years old. He decided to go out with his dad and granddad to the Indian store. This was a long drive for him. When he came home, he realized that me and his grandmother had taken his brother to the mall for some shopping. He was really upset that he missed the trip to the mall. He threw a big tantrum. The next time the situation came like this, he saw to it that he did not miss anything. He was a little three year old, who wanted all the fun.

Looking back, the term FOMO was coined just recently, in 2004, with the advent of social media. The behavior itself is just a three-year-old’s mindset. 

Anyway, what was an event I missed recently and felt bad about? Of course, the Northern Lights. But I really felt bad that I had missed an event for my son. His program had a taco night, and I had completely missed it. I was feeling bad for not taking him for that. It was a Cinco de mayo party day, I too would have had fun along with him. (My diet is limited, so I was not worried about the tacos).

Am I a better person now that I have learned about FOMO? I think I am. The next time I feel bad about missing something, I have to think about how my son behaved when he was three years old. I just have to command my brain to say, Please grow up. Yes, I want to be young, but I do not want to be a three-year-old.