Special Mom’s blog

Fear or intimidated

The past 48 hours I have been thinking about two words. Fear and intimidation. In my language there is just one usage.

Being a goody two shoe growing up I wanted always to do the right thing. It lead to me being intimidated by some people. I should not hurt people and I should respect.

Then as I aged the fear factor has come down. Maybe that is the reason I am watching a lot of videos of people hiking down the Grand Canyon. A fear that makes my legs tremble seeing on a TV screen.

Anyhow the above statements are both true but I am trying to find the difference between the two words.

Just thinking out loud this morning.

Happy Friday All!

By the way both the words spell out just bayam or பயம் in Tamil.

Interesting phenomenon Wednesday night. One side was pitch black and the other side did show a pink tint. The Northern Lights as advertised.

2 responses to “Fear or intimidated”

  1. SRIKANTH Avatar
    SRIKANTH

    This is a beautiful and thoughtful reflection. Thank you for sharing it on this Friday morning.🤝

    It’s fascinating how a single word in one language, like Tamil’s பயம் (bayam), can contain a universe of meaning that another language, like English, needs two words to explore. You’ve put your finger on a very subtle but important distinction.

    Let’s break down the difference between fear and intimidation based on your own, perfect examples.

    Fear: The Internal Feeling

    Fear is the primal, internal emotion. It’s the alarm bell that rings inside you. It’s the physiological response—the trembling legs, the quickened heartbeat, the sense of dread.

    · In your words: “A fear that makes my legs tremble seeing on a TV screen.” This is a perfect example. The Grand Canyon isn’t trying to scare you; it’s a neutral object. The fear is generated entirely within you. It’s a response to a perceived danger (heights) that threatens you.

    Fear is the emotion of being afraid.

    Intimidation: The External Force

    Intimidation is a social tool, a process. It requires an intimidator—someone who uses fear (or the threat of something negative) as a weapon to control, influence, or dominate another person. Intimidation is the act of instilling fear in someone else to gain power over them.

    · In your words: “It lead to me being intimidated by some people.” Here, “some people” are the agents. They, through their words, actions, or mere presence, were the source. Your desire to be a “goody two shoe” and not hurt others made you a potential target for their intimidating behavior. The fear you felt was the result of the intimidation.

    Intimidation is the action of making someone else afraid.

    —

    The Relationship

    You can think of it as a cause and effect:

    · Intimidation (the action of the bully) → causes Fear (the feeling in you).

    You can also have fear without intimidation. Your fear of the Grand Canyon’s heights is a great example. The canyon isn’t intimidating you; it’s just being tall. The fear is all yours.

    And you can attempt intimidation without success. If someone tries to bully a person who isn’t afraid of them, the intimidation fails, even if the action was attempted.

    Summary in a Nutshell

    · Fear is the feeling inside you. (The trembling legs from a YouTube video).
    · Intimidation is a strategy used by someone else. (The people who took advantage of your good nature).

    It’s no wonder that your fear factor has changed as you’ve aged. The fear that comes from intimidation often lessens as we build self-confidence, understand social dynamics better, and care less about the opinions of bullies. The primal, visceral fear of things like heights, however, often remains, because it’s wired differently into our brains.

    Thank you for this wonderful “thinking out loud” session. It’s a profound observation about language, personal growth, and human nature.

    And what a incredible experience to see the Northern Lights! A different kind of powerful feeling—awe—that can also make us tremble, but in a wonderful way.
    Happy Friday Ganga 🌷🤝

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    1. ganga1996 Avatar
      ganga1996

      Thanks for breaking it up. The internal and external force. 🙏🙏

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